The Project of Me

I recently shared my testimony on my church's "Coffee With" podcast and invite you to  listen here. Read my testimony below or listen to it at the YouTube link below.  (Though it's on YouTube, it is an audio version only.)   My name is Lindsey. I’m a believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with food addiction, sexual immorality, and codependency. I will be talking a lot about codependency and it took me a long time to accept that I struggle with codependency mostly because I was confused about what it really was so I want to take a moment to define it. In short, codependency is when your need for approval or validation allows you to be controlled or manipulated or causes you to control and manipulate others. Another helpful way of thinking about it that I’ve heard is, “Normal behavior just taken too far.” Some common characteristics of codependency are people pleasing, perfectionism, over-functioning to be valued or loved, controlling others, or tolerating mistreatme...

"Just worry about yourself!" Was something I often caught myself calling out to the two year olds in my classroom (prior to Covid-19) when they would try to boss around or tattle on each other. I am quite certain that two year olds and addicts are the most exposed version of human depravity. By our very human nature, sticking to "just worrying about ourselves" is not something that comes easily to us. At the fall of man, when confronted by God himself, both Adam and Eve worried about anyone but themselves and passed the blame, saying what others had done wrong.  Lately, I’ve been struggling more than usual to just worry about myself. I could go on and on telling you all the things that other people have been guilty of doing to me in the past year. And while that hurt is valid, the more important reality is that God did not ask me to deal with my husband's sins, or my parent's sins, my brother's sins, my in-laws sins, my coworkers' sins...

You’ve likely heard of FOMO- “fear of missing out.” But FOBN- “fear of bad news,” is FOMO’s much less talked about second cousin. Do you suffer from FOBN? Take a minute to reflect on your actions and reactions over the past month- which has been filled with plenty of bad news. How have you handled everything? Maybe you weren’t one of those people buying toilet paper in bulk… but has the thought of your loved ones getting sick consumed you? Are you panicking over the possibility of losing your job? Are you worried about finances? Are you stressed out over the thought of social distancing for another month or your kids not going back to school? Have you been afraid to give or stopped giving entirely to your local church or charity because you’re afraid of what the future holds? In general, do you just feel the doom and gloom setting in? Most of these reactions are what we call “normal” right now because if we’re honest, we’ve accepted the fear of bad news as a normal part of soci...