The Project of Me

Sixteen years ago, yesterday, May 31, 2009, I had two unexpected seizures, was diagnosed with viral encephalitis (a brain infection), and admitted to Children’s Hospital for 18 days. For the next 8 years, I lived a normal life, free of seizures and side effects. I thought my story was one of miraculous healing. But in 2017, I started having seizures again and was diagnosed with epilepsy. Today, my seizures are controlled. It’s been 2 ½ years since my last one. I used to have a difficult time classifying myself as disabled because of that. But recently, I recognized that even though I don’t have seizures daily, epilepsy still affects my daily life. I have taken anti-epileptic medication daily for the past 8 years. I make sure to carry my rescue medication with me everywhere I go. I pack an extra set of underwear in my carry-on when I fly just in case I have a seizure on the plane and wet myself (it happened once). I’m prepared to lose my driver’s license at any time in case of a break...

My husband and I have been walking the journey of infertility for nearly two years now (a drop in the bucket compared to some couples). I’ve been hesitant to write about it because people tend to respond by saying innocent, yet  stupid, things. Talking about it puts a target on my back for those well-meaning, but ultimately hurtful, comments. But recently I thought, maybe I SHOULD write about it precisely BECAUSE people say stupid things. Most of those comments are a combination of good intention and ignorance (lack of awareness). We need people who are bold enough to share their stories. Doing so breaks stigma, raises awareness, and shows others they are not alone. Maybe I can be one of those people. I thought I’d start by shedding light on some of those comments that seem helpful but are actually hurtful. What NOT to Say Playful Questioning: “When are you finally going to start a family?”  While it may be intended as a playful question, it can be extremely hurtful. I...