The Project of Me

I recently shared my testimony on my church's "Coffee With" podcast and invite you to  listen here. Read my testimony below or listen to it at the YouTube link below.  (Though it's on YouTube, it is an audio version only.)   My name is Lindsey. I’m a believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with food addiction, sexual immorality, and codependency. I will be talking a lot about codependency and it took me a long time to accept that I struggle with codependency mostly because I was confused about what it really was so I want to take a moment to define it. In short, codependency is when your need for approval or validation allows you to be controlled or manipulated or causes you to control and manipulate others. Another helpful way of thinking about it that I’ve heard is, “Normal behavior just taken too far.” Some common characteristics of codependency are people pleasing, perfectionism, over-functioning to be valued or loved, controlling others, or tolerating mistreatme...

As I sit in quarantine at home, I feel at peace- not because the world is at peace or even because my personal world is at peace- but because the past year has taught me how to be okay with feeling out of control. A year ago today, long before anyone suspected the world would turn upside down, my world turned upside down. Around midnight on April 7, 2019, my husband overdosed on the bathroom floor of my hospital room and was medically dead for about seven minutes. Had we not already been in a hospital, he wouldn’t be alive today. Prior to that night, I’d been in denial, believing his addiction wasn’t that bad and he just needed a little help. The events of that night made me realize how out of control things really were. That night led to a series of events that put me in a position where I couldn’t even pretend to be in control anymore. Losing the illusion of control helped me see that I never had any in the first place. But God was and is and forever will be in control. I do...