My Weight Loss Testimony

I held off posting about my weight loss for a long time for fear of coming across as “cringe-y.” But lately I have felt that I have a powerful message that needs to be shared…

A lot of weight loss stories I hear go something like, "I just got so tired of how I felt and looked so I decided enough was enough and decided to do something about it! So with a lot of hard work and effort through such and such method/program, I've lost X amount of pounds and feel better than ever!"

That's not how mine goes. 

 

In April 2019, my life fell apart. My husband's relapse led to a series of events that eventually led to my decision move back in with my parents for a while. I was so overwhelmed by all the chaos in my life that weight loss was the furthest thing from my mind. I continued my poor eating habits as usual thinking, "I'll worry about losing weight when my life settles down a little bit." I avoided scales like the plague so I was surprised that August when I got set up with a new PCP and realized I'd lost roughly 20 pounds or so since my last doctor's visit about six months prior. I attribute that first bit lost to the stress I'd been under and that I'd switched to eating more of my mom's healthy cooking as opposed to my former habits of eating a lot of fast food or quick prep, high calorie frozen/boxed meals. 

The most common piece of advice I got during this time was, "It's time to work on yourself." Around August 2019, I decided to start taking that advice seriously. I had no idea where to start, but I was going to figure it out one way or another. That process didn't start with weight loss. It didn't start by working on my relationships with other people. It didn't even start by facing the initial crisis head on. It started by getting right with God. 

Prior to everything falling apart, I'd been trying to live life on my own strength. I was failing miserably because it was a burden God never meant for me to bear alone. I believed in God and was trying to follow him. But I was also keeping him at arm’s length while I tried to control all the pieces of my life that were spinning wildly out of control. When everything fell apart, I clung to God in desperation. I remember several nights where I laid my head on my pillow pondering what my life had become and sighed silent prayers of, "God, I can't do this. You're the only one who can. Please help me." I got serious about the discipline of reading scripture daily and journaling my prayers. Looking back now, I can see how God was, and still is, teaching me to trust in his strength and rely on his power through that process. I also started seeking out group help. The best choice I made was going to Celebrate Recovery where I found a network of believers that struggle with a variety of things, some similar to me and some different. There I found a community of people that offered love, support, and accountability. My path to growing closer to God, healing, and recovery continued and continues still today.

Around this same time, I started casually working on losing weight too. I figured I had already lost 20 pounds, or more, without trying, so I might as well springboard off that. As I started the process of tracking calories again, I noticed that making healthier choices was coming much easier to me. It was a conscious decision but it wasn't a laborious battle against the desires of my flesh. In time, I have realized that is because as I drew closer to God I was released from many burdens I'd been lugging around for a long time. In my case, food addiction was a major one. Sure, I still had cravings, but the Holy Spirit was there to help me stand up against them in a new way. 

The real difference about my weight loss story from others, is that it's not really about weight loss, it's about God. I am not just a thinner person. I am not just a physically healthier person. I am a healthier person all around- mentally, emotionally, physically, and especially spiritually. But getting healthy spiritually had to come first. I could not have had success working on my weight problem while still being disconnected from God. I know this because I had tried, many times, in the past without success.

Today, by the grace of God, I have lost 70 pounds and I'm still going. Even in the midst of pandemic, I have continued steadily losing weight and have even started exercising daily.  But I can't take the credit. While there has been some effort on my part, my best efforts in the past have failed time and time again. It's only when my efforts were sustained by the strength of Christ that I began to see success. Yes, I count the calories and watch my portion sizes, but it is only through Christ's power in me that I have power to continue to stay at this hard work day after day. 

The beauty of my story is that while I am incredibly weak, powerless to change by my own willpower, God’s power works perfectly in weak people. So I will boast, not on any accomplishment of my own, but of Christ’s power in me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."