Naive Faith

"If God worked in ways that we could understand, then he wouldn't be an awesome God." -17 year old me

May 31, 2009 was the start of a lifetime of learning to trust God with what I cannot control. I had my first ever seizures in the church bathroom on a Sunday morning, was diagnosed with viral encephalitis, and spent 18 days in Children's Hospital. I lived 8 years with no seizures and no complications. But in 2017, I started having seizures and was diagnosed with epilepsy. Today, my seizures are mostly controlled by medication with my last "big" seizure being 3.5 years ago. But epilepsy still forces me to daily trust God with my health and wellbeing.
When I read through the posts written by young me on this day throughout the years, there's a part of me that wants to say to that younger version of myself, "Just wait... you have NO idea what's coming." But I think adult me needs to listen to young me instead. Jesus tells us to have childlike faith because we need to have the kind of faith that trusts him completely even though we have "no idea what's coming."
Epilepsy has presented me with some new challenges and choices to make this year. God is stretching and testing my faith in him yet again. I'm really tired of being stretched and tested! 😫 My cynical, adult brain has trouble trusting God with the unknown. Today I needed a dose of 17-year-old Lindsey's naive, pure faith to remind me that it doesn't matter what else is coming, it's always okay to let go and let God be in control.

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